The Deployment-Baby Dilemma

As most of you know, Matt is deploying in the near future. I can't say when, but he won't be here for the birth. When I found out I was pregnant, the deployment was a non-issue. I've had a baby while he was deployed in the past. My parents arrived the day before I went into labor. They were able to stay for two weeks, after which Matt's parents arrived. Matt was home by the time Lila was three-weeks-old. Olivia was a fairly easy toddler and the whole thing was easy-peasy.

Fast forward to now. We will have two children in German elementary school and one in German kindergarten.  Just recently I began to think about the logistics of the days before and weeks after the birth. Logistically speaking, it would be better for me to move back to Vermont, rent a house, and give birth there. My dad is semi-retired and could help watch Colden or bring him to his preschool, and pick up the kids after school, bring them to dance, etc. I have two sisters who also live in the area. Lots of help. But, I'm not moving back. It's kinda too late for that and I like it here.  Here are the logistical issues I'm running into as they play out in my currently jumbled brain:

• Neither sets of parents are fully retired. My mom can take two weeks off, at best. Colden was 10-days early. When to get my parents here is going to be tricky. They can't come two weeks early because that would eat up my mother's entire vacation and the baby could, in fact, come two weeks (or more) late. They will probably come one week before I'm due (8NOV). They can stay until one week after I'm due. No matter what, I'll have help for only a very short period time. 
• My close friend, Amy, from our year in Kansas, will be moving to the area in another month or two. Her husband will not be deploying. I'm so very excited and very grateful to have her here. However, she will be living a half hour away, has a child in elementary school, a toddler and an infant. There is only so much she can do. Military friends who live closer may or may not be able to help and this is because their children go to American schools and my children go to German schools. Their schedules do not coincide (not even close).  If I have the baby on/around my due date, my parents will be able to help for the first week. During that time I intend to stay in bed and have lots of skin-to-skin time with the baby. Getting my girls on the bus in the morning, getting Colden to kindergarten (he attends for three-hours daily), picking Colden up from kindergarten, picking girls up from their after school program, bringing girls to dance classes and Scouts, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry will be challenging if the baby comes early or late. If that happens, I'm kinda on my own to get up and do it because military friends who live close by will be getting their kids off to school and then doing the same for them as I do my children in the afternoons. I've always had lots of help after previous children were born and I honestly cannot imagine doing all that running around right after the baby is born. In the case of not-so-great timing of birth, I'll have to pull the kids out of their events for a couple of weeks. But that still leaves me getting up early in the morning to make school snacks and seeing the two oldest off on the bus and bringing the youngest off to kindergarten. A few hours later, pick up begins (and so on).
• What about Matt's parents? Again, not retired. Matt's mother doesn't have vacation time until Christmas. We haven't asked them to come yet. But, I'm certainly not flying home for Christmas with a newborn, a toddler and two school-age children. No way. My plan is to ask them to come for Christmas, and pay for their tickets (of course). 

Possible solutions:

• Hire an American college student, nanny or senior in high school to help with the after school pick ups and, possibly, dance, scout, ice skating lessons, etc. for a couple of months. 
• Hire a post-partum doula who will help out with laundry, cleaning, and cooking. 
• Hire a housekeeper (This is almost a certainty anyway. I've looked and have yet to find someone, however). 
• Beg a family or friend to take a leave of absence from her job and come help. We pay for flights and help with bills. 
• Have a great birth, easy baby and just do it all. 

I know as it gets closer, solutions may present themselves. The Army family is just that. A family. Deployments bring us closer together and we work out solutions, even when the obstacles are overwhelming. We are strong. We are powerful. We are extraordinarily capable. I know I'm in good hands. However, that doesn't mean it will be easy. It will certainly be an eventful chapter in my Army Life book!