This is a little bit of a difficult post because as a lactation counselor, I feel as if I should not be in this situation. I should be a pro-nurser at this point. I nursed two other children into toddlerhood with relatively few problems.
This story, however, begins with Lila. We had a latch problem for three or four days after she was born. Before I even left the hospital, however, I had contacted an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Counselor) and she paid a visit to my home just after I arrived home from the hospital. The latch was corrected that day. Lila was, interestingly, a projectile puker and had explosive bowel movements. She also gained weight at a rapid rate for the first several weeks. All signs pointed to an over-supply of milk (I didn't know this at the time). Over-supply gets worse with each subsequent child. So....flash forward five years and here I am.
I have an over-supply. I suspected it in the beginning and suspected that Colden thought he may drown in milk when, at nine-days-old, he started clicking. Which was, essentially, his way of sliding off the latch and pinching down on the nipple to slow the flow. This is not comfortable. I block nursed (nursed on one side for two-three feedings in a row-which helps reduce the amount of milk, speed of flow, etc) and nursed him upright. It didn't seem to work. I would often find him gagging at the breast. Further, an hour or two after I fed him, he would again gag and milk would come out his nose, resulting in crying. He recently stopped spraying milk out his nose and also stopped gagging as much. I spent one day several weeks ago pulling him off the latch every single time he clicked. It didn't work but I assumed he would grow out of it. I tried to relax and accept the journey we were on together.
Then, it looked like we had thrush. Probably brought on by cracked nipples in the first few days of nursing (that is better and has been for weeks). So, we treated that and I think it is better - but the discomfort continued. The latch has not improved much.
My midwife thought maybe he had high muscle tone. My college advisers (Remember, I'm going to school for lactation counseling) thought maybe he needed a speech consult. A La Leche Leader, who is also an MD, took one look at him, heard his happy noises at the breast, his full cheeks and decided he would probably grow out of it but, nonetheless, gave me some facial massages to try out that would encourage better sucking/tongue thrust. Lots of advice!
Which brings us to yesterday. I drove an hour away to see an IBCLC to access his latch (I'd been putting off this visit due to the long drive and girls school schedules) and to see if he needed a speech consult. IBCLCs are experts in the field and Donna has been at it a great many years and came highly recommended. She told me what I suspected was most likely true. I have an over-supply and while it may be a bit better, he's still scared he's going to drown. She wants me to block nurse again, pull him much much tighter into the breast than I was, and spend, what she thinks will be, two-three days fixing the latch. Getting him deeper on the latch and by block nursing, slowing the flow. Every time I feel pain, pull him off and relatch him. Hard work.
So, yesterday afternoon I began. I have my work cut out for me. He's been doing this for so long, I suspect it will take the full three days or longer. He's very stubborn and very happy to be doing what he's been doing. Today, in frustration and pressed for time (the girls had to get ready for school), I gave up earlier than I usually would have. I pulled him off and he just looked at me, smiled and began to coo and look at his hands. Little snot! He's such a smart little guy but can't nurse properly. I feel incompetent because I feel as if I should KNOW what to do. I've nursed successfully before, have training behind me and I still can't get him latched on properly. He'll be nine-weeks tomorrow. According to breastfeeding experts, if a latch isn't fixed by three-four months, that's the latch you'll have the entire time you nurse. Ouch!!
This does not mean I'll give up nursing or start pumping and give him a bottle. It is what it is and I have good support and tools to move forward and work on this, thankfully. I'm cautiously optimistic - but, boy oh boy, do I miss the comfortable nursing days of past and look forward to enjoying that time with my little man! I will conquer this!!
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