When Breastfeeding Sucks

This is a little bit of a difficult post because as a lactation counselor, I feel as if I should not be in this situation.  I should be a pro-nurser at this point.  I nursed two other children into toddlerhood with relatively few problems.

This story, however, begins with Lila.  We had a latch problem for three or four days after she was born.  Before I even left the hospital, however, I had contacted an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Counselor) and she paid a visit to my home just after I arrived home from the hospital.  The latch was corrected that day. Lila was, interestingly, a projectile puker and had explosive bowel movements.  She also gained weight at a rapid rate for the first several weeks.  All signs pointed to an over-supply of milk (I didn't know this at the time).  Over-supply gets worse with each subsequent child.  So....flash forward five years and here I am.

I have an over-supply.  I suspected it in the beginning and suspected that Colden thought he may drown in milk when, at nine-days-old, he started clicking. Which was, essentially, his way of sliding off the latch and pinching down on the nipple to slow the flow.  This is not comfortable. I block nursed (nursed on one side for two-three feedings in a row-which helps reduce the amount of milk, speed of flow, etc) and nursed him upright.  It didn't seem to work. I would often find him gagging at the breast. Further, an hour or two after I fed him, he would again gag and milk would come out his nose, resulting in crying.   He recently stopped spraying milk out his nose and also stopped gagging as much.  I spent one day several weeks ago pulling him off the latch every single time he clicked. It didn't work but I assumed he would grow out of it. I tried to relax and accept the journey we were on together.

Then, it looked like we had thrush. Probably brought on by cracked nipples in the first few days of nursing (that is better and has been for weeks). So, we treated that and I think it is better - but the discomfort continued. The latch has not improved much.

My midwife thought maybe he had high muscle tone.  My college advisers (Remember, I'm going to school for lactation counseling) thought maybe he needed a speech consult.  A La Leche Leader, who is also an MD, took one look at him, heard his happy noises at the breast, his full cheeks and decided he would probably grow out of it but, nonetheless, gave me some facial massages to try out that would encourage better sucking/tongue thrust. Lots of advice!

Which brings us to yesterday.  I drove an hour away to see an IBCLC to access his latch (I'd been putting off this visit due to the long drive and girls school schedules) and to see if he needed a speech consult. IBCLCs are experts in the field and Donna has been at it a great many years and came highly recommended.  She told me what I suspected was most likely true.  I have an over-supply and while it may be a bit better, he's still scared he's going to drown.  She wants me to block nurse again, pull him much much tighter into the breast than I was, and spend, what she thinks will be, two-three days fixing the latch.  Getting him deeper on the latch and by block nursing, slowing the flow.  Every time I feel pain, pull him off and relatch him. Hard work.

So, yesterday afternoon I began.  I have my work cut out for me.  He's been doing this for so long, I suspect it will take the full three days or longer.  He's very stubborn and very happy to be doing what he's been doing. Today, in frustration and pressed for time (the girls had to get ready for school), I gave up earlier than I usually would have. I pulled him off and he just looked at me, smiled and began to coo and look at his hands. Little snot! He's such a smart little guy but can't nurse properly. I feel incompetent because I feel as if I should KNOW what to do.  I've nursed successfully before, have training behind me and I still can't get him latched on properly.  He'll be nine-weeks tomorrow.  According to breastfeeding experts, if a latch isn't fixed by three-four months, that's the latch you'll have the entire time you nurse. Ouch!!   

This does not mean I'll give up nursing or start pumping and give him a bottle.  It is what it is and I have good support and tools to move forward and work on this, thankfully.  I'm cautiously optimistic - but, boy oh boy, do I miss the comfortable nursing days of past and look forward to enjoying that time with my little man!  I will conquer this!!

Heavy Wetter

A while back I blogged about my newborn cloth diaper stash. I raved about Kissaluvs.  They were the perfect newborn cloth diaper for my newborn daughters.  My husband and I loved them. We decided to purchase them for Colden.

Unfortunately, Colden is what cloth diapering parents call "a heavy wetter."  All he has to do is pee once and he's soaked right through these.  I don't remember this being a problem with the girls.  I sold them this week, sadly, as they still fit him nicely and I do love the fit.  They did work well the first month - so all was not lost on them! Now that he's a bit older, they weren't cutting it, however.

We're still big fans of prefold diapers.  They are probably my favorites because they absorb so well and are 100% cotton which is soft and washes easily.  I ordered some flat cloth diapers for our trip back to the States next month. They wash very easily and dry very quickly. They also pack light and one size fits through toddlerhood.  They take a bit more time to fold but I'm sure I'll get the hang of them quickly. I hear great things about them. I'll keep you posted.

There are a couple of other diapers I like a lot and some I'm waiting for him to grow into to try out.  So, I'll update in the near future as to what diapers we're using from three months and up.

Wear Him! That'll Shut Him Up!

Baby-wearing at a German Festival

Soon after Olivia was born, I began baby-wearing. There are many benefits to baby-wearing (for parent and baby/toddler) that appealed to me. Hands free to do some laundry, walk the dog (when we had one), clean, eat, run after older siblings, keep the baby upright to help with mild reflux, and give my baby some "tummy time" (baby-wearing can be substituted for tummy time), to name a few.  I continue to learn about the benefits of baby-wearing all the time.  

Shortly after Olivia was born, I started baby-wearing with a ring sling.  Eventually, the sling started to bother my shoulders.  So, my friend, Jae Rin, introduced me to the Ergo Baby Carrier. I wore Olivia in the Ergo often until very late in my pregnancy with Lila.  However, I didn't really get into baby-wearing until Lila was born.  I wore Lila so often, the Ergo was soon dubbed Lila's "second womb."  I still remember a time when Lila was three.  We were walking past the T-Rex Restaurant at a shopping plaza Kansas.  Lila, frightened of the dinosaurs, started screaming in fright and yelled to Matt (who had the Ergo wrapped around his waist), "Get me in! Get me in! Get me in!" Matt promptly lifted her up and into the Ergo, her little legs kicking as he did so, as if to help propel herself up and in faster. If someone would use the Ergo to see if she and her child liked it, Lila would scream, "My Ergo. My Ergo!" Nontheless, she was "worn" (carried) in the Ergo until she was nearly four-and-a-half!

Matt and I have traveled all over Europe stroller-free.  We threw the girls on our backs and explored ancient ruins, castles, beaches, and more while our children enjoyed the warmth and comfort of being carried on our backs'.  We have a jogging stroller and umbrella stroller that we have yet to use since Colden's arrival.

Didymos Wrap

This time around, during the newborn phase, I have used the Moby Wrap and a Didymos woven wrap.  I enjoyed the Moby, however, it's a little too stretchy for my liking and a bit too warm.  I was sweating my butt off every time I wrapped Colden.  So, I recently took a trip to the original Didymos store with my mother and bought the above wrap.  It is a cotton woven wrap.  I LOVE it.  It's so much cooler and I get a tighter fit. As he gets older, I will be able to wrap him many different ways. Now that I'm getting the hang of wraps, I want more!  I'd love a wrap from Ellevill.  I want a solid color wrap next or a fabric that looks like a really nice top.  A wrap that would look good on me when I'm a bit more dressed up than in jeans (or sweatpants) and t-shirt of late. Certain wraps can make you look so stylish - no need for buying lots of clothes post-partum (Especially when you're trying to lose that baby weight) clothes when you have a really pretty wrap and are wearing your baby a few (to several) hours a day as I've been doing.

Colden really enjoys being worn.  I have a saying now, "Wear him! That'll shut him up!"

When he's cranky and tired or we're running errands, I wrap him.  He usually falls promptly asleep. He's getting so used to being worn that as I'm putting him in it, if he's been crying, he'll begin to stop as soon as he senses he's getting put into the wrap.

I love it too. Sometimes he'll be in the swing and I'll start to miss him.  Or, I'll feel suddenly that I haven't given him enough attention and feel the need to have him close to me. It's great for walking the girls to school or running errands with them around town.  He stays warm against me and because he's so close to me, I don't have strangers or the girls' classmates touching him.

Even Matt wears the baby (In the Ergo-which Colden doesn't really fit into yet because I don't have the newborn pillow insert.  Froggy legged, however, he can spend a small amount of time in there).  He recently wore Colden while brewing a batch of beer.  Teaching him young...

Like Matt, I am a soft structured carrier fan (Ergo is soft structured).  As Colden gets older, the Ergo will be my first choice when I have to very quickly run into a store, especially in the winter, and don't want to take the time to tie the wrap (It takes a good two minutes for me. I can throw a baby in the Ergo in 30-seconds or less). However, there are a couple of other soft structured carriers I'm interested in.  A Beco and a Kindercarry. 

While each of the carriers I've written about are fantastic, they can add up to big bucks.  So, as much as I've wanted to dive in and buy more wraps and soft structured carriers, I've refrained.  For now.  I am so addicted to baby-wearing, I'm sure the Ergo, Moby and Didymos are not the last baby-wearing devices to enter into my (our) collection...