Pregnancy-Friendly Body Care

Most women try hard to make sure they are eating properly and not exposing themselves to plastics and cans with BPA, or GMOs or heavily sprayed produce when pregnant and nursing (and all the time, right?). What about skin care? I've been asked a few times as to what I use when I'm pregnant and/or breastfeeding.

Recently I've become more strict about what I put on my body. Even "natural" skin creams, toothpastes, etc. may have GMO ingredients or ingredients that border on toxic. So, here are a few things I use and recipes to go along with if I make them myself:

Body Moisturizers

Coconut oil - I buy it in bulk, usually from Tropical Traditions. If I feel the need for a bit of fragrance, I use a drop or two of essential oil. I use it as an all-over body lotion as soon as I get out of the shower. I also use it on my lips. I will often travel with a very small, leak-proof container of it just for hands and lips.

Body Lotion - HoneyBeeHolistics, an Etsy seller, creates fabulous smelling body lotions that smell good enough to eat. Her products are soy (I'm allergic) and GMO-free. I am in love with her organic coconut banana creme pie version. Since coconut oil doesn't stay solid in higher temperatures, I like to take this with me when we travel.

Honestly, I find that coconut oil is all that is necessary. There is no need for any other fancy lotions. I like the one above because I know exactly what it is in and it smells great. Do I need it? No. It's a "luxury" item. I have also made my own before and while that is nice, with three chidlren and one on the way, I don't always have time for that. It's more time consuming than making deodorant (below). 

Toothpaste

I have pinned a few recipes on Pinterest but haven't ventured into making my own yet. Many "natural" toothpastes, such as Jason's, use carrageenan which is now known as a possible carcinogen and also can cause gastrointestinal distress. I'm willing to bet that Jason's will shortly take it out of their products, now that carrageenan is getting such bad press. However, I have found a toothpaste that works great for all of us - even the kids like it:

It's Earthpaste. Lila likes the lemon flavor and Olivia likes the peppermint. I'm using the wintergreen. You can probably find it locally at health food stores. I bought a four pack at Amazon here.

Deodorant

Homemade: For around the home and running quick errands, I use a homemade recipe from Passionate Homemaking and I think it works really well. You can find the recipe here. I put in a few drops each of peppermint, tea tree and lavender essential oils, however, you can experiment to find what works best for you. I put it in a small glass jar and keep in the bathroom. I also put some in an old deodorant container and keep in fridge as it's a little too soft otherwise.

HoneyBeeHolistics:  Passionate Homemaking's recipe holds me over quite nicely while I'm waiting for HoneyBee's to arrive. She makes an excellent deodorant and I hope she never goes out of business. It's better than any store-bought version I have ever tried. You can find it here. Her shipping is not very quick - but her products are wonderful - so be patient.

Hair

Hair is one I'm still working on. I'm not interested in the no-poo versions. Just not my thing - especially with my thick hair. There are some good German organic versions that I use from time to time. However, most, even American "natural" or organic versions,  use some sort of soy as a thickener or preservative. I'm allergic to soy - so I'm still in the process of finding a good, soy-free shampoo. In the mean time, the ones I do use are SLS and paraben free. I don't wash my hair every day. I wash every other day - so I'm not too worried - but if you have tried a soy, SLS, paraben free shampoo, list it in the comments!

Make-Up

I don't wear make-up daily. I only wear it once or twice a week. When I do wear it, I wear:

Lavera: Lavera is a German brand that I get at local organic stores. It works really well for me, however, when I get back to the States, most likely next summer, I'll have to search out some of the products recommended to me and pinned because outside of Germany, Lavera products are expensive. I don't pay nearly as much here as I would ordering from Amazon, for example. Also, I don't think their whole product line is easily found outside of Europe. I'll likely stock up before I leave - so I'll have enough for an entire year before shopping for a good US product.

That's about it - what do you use?

Naming the Baby

Many people have asked if we have come up with a name yet. My mother recently asked and said, "Grandma has to know!!"

Well, here it is. We don't have one. Not at all. Well, a month or so ago Matt bounced one off me and I'm kinda "eh" about it. We haven't discussed names since then and we didn't discuss a middle name. I still can't wrap my mind around the name he suggested, so, for now, it's a no. I browse names from time to time at Nameberry and pay attention to names as I read magazines, books, blogs, etc. Nothing has caught my eye - yet. If Matt really pushes his pick, I may give in - but, I'm not convinced he even likes it that much...So, yeah, I think we are still in early stages of name picking with only two months left to go. It'll come to us, right?

When we do name him, you can expect that his name will not be in the top 300 baby names listed for 2012 by the  Social Security Administration. I have a "thing" about that. Liv will likely have another Olivia in her homeroom each year all through school. I didn't want that to happen with my other two. Colden's name is not in the top 1,000 and Lila's name was ranked number 182 in 2012, rising from 329 in 2006, the year she was born. I grew up loving the fact that not many people had my name. I think I knew one or two other Natalie's growing up. That's it. It was nice not to have to write Natalie A. on all my school work. I know, that's silly. But, I liked it. I took note of it then and take note of it with my own children. Poor Olivia. She doesn't yet care because she has been in German schools and Olivia is not a German name.

When will you find out our newest son's name? I suspect you (including immediately family members - even our children) will find out within one hour - two weeks after he's born. Not before.

Sorry!!

Circumcision Regrets and Mommy Bashing

Long before Colden came into our lives, I was at a playgroup with my girls. Two moms were talking about a mom who didn't it make it that day. What I heard goes something like this:

"I can't believe she didn't circumcise her son. He's going to be so dirty. I bet he'll get infections. It's just so gross. I mean, how does she keep it clean? He's going to get picked on by all the boys in the locker room. He doesn't look like his dad. How cruel. I just couldn't subject my son to such a mess."

Having only girls, I didn't really know what to say. I wanted to come to this mother's defense. I was shocked that misinformation can bring out such cruel talk amongst mothers.  Would anyone listen to what I had learned when I worked for a urologist during college? Without personal experience on the subject, would they brush me off? I don't remember what I said, exactly. Aside from saying something about having lived in Europe and learning that most European men are not circumcised - so problems must, actually, be really rare - I kept tight-lipped.

A long while later, I found out I was expecting a boy. I knew immediately I would not allow him to be circumcised. It wasn't easy convincing my husband. In the end, body integrity is what won him over. He decided it would not be right to permanently alter his son's body without his spoken permission - something a newborn baby can not do.

During my year working for a urologist, I had learned that circumcision was not necessary. Here are some of things I came across (and sometimes even discussed with the doctor for clarification and better explanation) as I typed up dictations in between my college classes:

• Male UVM college student complains of pain during sex. Diagnosis - too much skin was taken off during his infant circumcision. Erections are tight and painful. Pain aside, to the untrained eye, his penis looks perfectly "normal." His parents likely never had a clue that their decision would later ruin his sex life.  
• 1 in 5 UVM college students has or has had an STD. Rates of circumcision at that time among male college students was just over 80%. Circumcision played no part in preventing STDs. 
• Erectile dysfunction is more common in older circumcised men than in older men not circumcised. This is because the foreskin is meant to protect the head of the penis. When the foreskin is gone, the body builds a protective layer over it. Over time, the skin becomes thicker and thicker. By the time a man is elderly, he may not be able to have the ability to feel as well as well as he could in the past - though some men suffer from lack of sensation much much earlier than this. Men who need excessive thrusting in order to climax are often experiencing decreased sensation due to their infant circumcision. 

What did I learn during my pregnancy with Colden:

• Studies showing intact infants having higher rates of UTIs were not controlled for breastfeeding. Breastfed infants rarely have issues with UTIs. UTIs can be treated with antibiotics. Baby girls have higher rates of UTIs than intact or circumcised males. 
• 100 babies die each year due to complications of circ.
• Blood cortisol levels, whether a baby cries or not (not crying during circumcision usually means baby is in shock), rise during the procedure and can stay high for several hours or even days.
• America is the only country routinely performing neonatal circumcision. Religious reasons aside, no other country in the world performs circumcision on a routine basis. The UK and Canada routinely circ'd in the past, however, the UK stopped the practice in the 50's and Canadian rates are now down to 20%.  China, the most heavily populated country in the world, has a 0% circumcision rate. 
• Clean what is seen. That is it. There is no special care for the intact penis. You wash it like you would a finger. 
• As long as boy is not retracted forcibly (something uninformed parents and even some medical professionals think is necessary - but is not. A medical provider can even be sued for retracting a penis. The penis will naturally retract on its own when the boy does it - usually during puberty) he should have no issue with his penis. 

What about the "locker room" and "must look like dad argument." Well, let's look at it like this. Lila's birth aside, my mother has not seen my vulva since I began showering on my own. Probably around the age of 9 or 10. I assume this also applies to most men - as soon as they were showering on their own, their father probably never saw their penis again. We do not sit around comparing penises and vaginas. We do not, as a general rule, go to naked spas (as the German do, for example). It's likely your son will never even remember what his father's penis looks like. And, don't we know how to speak to our sons? Can't we tell them, if they ask, that daddy was circ'd because it was routine at the time and now we know it isn't necessary. How hard is that? My husband is a bit irked that Colden has dark brown eyes instead of blue. He has blonde hair. Why aren't his eyes blue? He will see his son's brown eyes and be reminded of this the rest of his life. He will not, likely, see his son's penis ever again in a few more years.

If your son is being picked on in the locker room, a couple things are going on. For one, if someone is picking on his penis, he's probably being picked on for other things too. Bullying is no longer allowed in schools.  I also hope we try hard to raise self-confident boys who can stand up for themselves and also have a good self-body image. Finally, rates of circumcision in America are rapidly dropping. In some States rates are only about 30%. The last few playgroups I have attended, more boys were intact than circ'd (I found this out through open discussion or naked toddlers running around during diaper changes, etc).  My son will not be the only boy in his gym class to not be circ'd. I'm sure of that. A few moms and friends have admitted that they made a mistake, will later apologize to their son and not circ future sons.

When we know better, we do better. 

So, do I regret not circumcising Colden? Has he suffered from infections? Is he dirty and smelly? No to all. In fact, every day I am proud that I respected his human right to body integrity. His body, his choice. His body does not belong to my husband or I. End of story.

If you'd like more information on circumcision, this university lecture is very informative and non-bashing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I

The Whole Network is also a great resource. You can even email them questions and they will send you evidence based information and resources: http://www.thewholenetwork.org/

Weaned

A few months ago I blogged how I thought Colden was weaning. Then, we went on vacation and he picked nursing right back up again. I was, actually, a bit relieved. I didn't really want him to wean.
During our two weeks in Slovenia and Croatia, he would wake at around 5:00am. He'd come into bed with Matt and I and nurse until about 8:00. Three hours straight. Yikes. I've never been good about sleeping with a baby latched on - so I didn't get very much sleep. I thought for sure that he'd continue to nurse through my pregnancy.

However, upon returning home and getting back into our routine, he suddenly stopped. I would offer to nurse him and he would laugh and spit on me.

So, that's that. I can't say I'm upset because he weaned on his own. I didn't push it at all. He didn't tolerate my milk drying up. Nursing, with no milk flow, wasn't something he was interested in.

No tandem nursing for us. And, here's the thing. With Olivia, I had a supply of milk longer than I did in this pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different, every baby/toddler is different. I can't be jealous of other moms who have been able to nurse their entire pregnancy.  Colden made a decision and I have to respect that and move on. My nursing days are far from over! Another eight-nine weeks, and I'll have a sweet smelling tiny guy at the breast and I'm pretty sure we'll be nursing into his toddler days...

It's Really Going to Happen

I have to admit that with all the running around after three children and the fact that I really thought Colden was my last baby, I've been a bit detached from this pregnancy. It hasn't felt real. When you are pregnant with your first, you notice everything. You are eager to meet your baby as soon as you test positive. Your whole world becomes baby-centered. By the fourth, you almost forget about it unless you feel a strong jab to the bladder or ribs.

Since I had donated almost all of Colden's 0-6 month clothing, I've been kinda keeping an eye out for deals on clothes for the new guy. Zulilly has had some really great deals. I've ordered three or four outfits and the first two came in today from Sage Creek Organics. My heart did a little squeeze as I opened up the packages and looked them over. I'm really going to have a new little guy in those in just a few months (I'm six-months tomorrow). I'm finally starting to get eager to meet him and so are the girls, Olivia especially.

Student and Pregnant Single Mom

As most you know, Matt deployed last week for nine months. So, aside from supporting us financially, he's almost an non-entity. I'm a pregnant, single mom to three children. So far, all has been relatively calm. On day two a bird flew into the house but I was able to successfully get him out. One of my professors didn't update her online blackboard with the correct assignment due dates. I thought they were due in August. When I checked my university email early this week, I found I had six assignments due by the end of this week. Yikes!! No biggie, right?

Environmental Science Textbook - A subject that bores the living daylights out of me

Well, depends on how you look at it. I have mornings to work on homework while Colden is at school, however, I had appointments and/or events Tuesday morning, Thursday and Friday. So, when I am home, I'm doing homework. My house is getting a mess again. I sweep, cook, load and unload the dishwasher, and that's about it. The floors need a good mopping, laundry needs to be done, general pick-up is lacking in each room. But, if I did all that, I wouldn't sleep. Single, pregnant women need sleep. I could drop my two classes but I really need to make some forward progress here. The classes aren't hard but they are time consuming. I have four quizzes to take between now and tomorrow night. That's about four hours worth of work. I can do it and I'll just have to live with the fact that I'll be spending my weekend cleaning. Yuck. Anyhoo. No need getting upset about it all! I'll promise the kids a couple hours at the local pool and, maybe a short play date over the weekend. Good enough, right? Anyone with three kids knows that they will cry boredom in between each of those things and call me the "worst, most boring mom ever." Spoiled much?

Gender Revealed!!