The Thing About Traveling When Pregnant

Anna and I in Strasbourg, France

We've been doing a lot of traveling lately.  Last week, we went to Normandy, France.  This weekend, a friend and I went to Strasbourg, France.  It's a beautiful city just over an hour's drive from here.  Next weekend, we're bringing the girls to Legoland.

How am I surviving with all this traveling?  Well, actually, quite well.  All the walking keeps me in shape, that's for sure.  No ankle swelling (yet) or fluid rentention (except the fingers - which I get not pregnant). However, it's really really hard to stay hydrated.  We carry water bottles with us - refusing to pay highway robbery prices for bottled water at parks or tourist destinations.  The problem is that I can't drink much (Which gives me a headache).  When I do, I have to stop to use the bathroom - a lot.  In many places, it'll cost you.  I've paid as much as 70 euro cents (Just over one US dollar) and as low as 40 euro cents.  It should be illegal for pregnant women to be charged to use the bathroom. It really isn't fair.

Along the River in Strasbourg

It's not easy to always find a bathroom either.  In Strasbourg, I snuck into a Subway.  Two other times, I used the one at the restaurant in which my friend and I were dining.  In Paris last month, I found myself in tears trying to find a spot on more than one occasion.  I remember walking into one cafe only to be told that the bathroom was out of order. Yeah, right. The place was ultra fancy and packed full and I'm sure the staff wasn't holding it all day!  Deny a pregnant woman a bathroom equals serious fail. 

We're tent camping this weekend.  I dread waking up in the middle of the night to walk to the restroom.  So, I'll bring a toddler toilet and use that.  Sounds gross, I know. But, hey, in order to travel during the pregnancy, I've had to give up some money and some dignity.  Par for the course, I guess.  I have less than two weeks left in my second trimester.  I'm well aware that the need to use the bathroom will only get worse as the weeks progress. This may be my last month of travel before I throw in the towel and consider a walk down to the local pool as travel enough!

Toyota Prius and the Three-Across Car Seat Dilemma

Those of you who follow me on Facebook know that I had a bit of a panic attack last week over fitting three car seats in the back of my Prius.  Here's the story:

Upon finding out I was pregnant, Matt and I agreed to keep the Prius.  We'll get something bigger (AKA - Minivan) when we move back to the States in a couple of years. I have driven a bigger vehicle in Europe (Toyota 4-Runner) and hated it.  I know, I know.  Hate is a strong word.  But, really, I'm not fit to be driving a big vehicle in Europe.  Tight parking spots, narrow roads, crazy drivers - enough said.

So, I decided to get the Combi Coccoro.  It's designed for fuel efficient cars.  You can get three of these across the back seat of a Prius.  I've seen pictures of this car seat with two Sunshine Radian car seats in the back of a Prius (Lila's Britax Marathon is way too big).  However, Olivia will be closer to seven by the time the baby is born and already in a booster. I don't need two Radians.  Especially at $229 a pop. When I explained my dilemma to friends, they were very quick to point out that I can't take the Coccoro out of the car like I can an infant car seat designed with a handle and base.   How, everyone gasped, could I dare take a sleeping baby out of his car seat?  I replied that since I will be wearing him in a wrap, sling, Ergo, etc., that I will just plop him in there.  No, no.  That will not work.  My life will be hell.  The baby will freak out. I will not be able to calm him.  Huge mistake.  So, I freak. And, freak some more.  Matt nearly jumped off a cliff, frustrated that I was backing out of my original plan and now lost as to what to do.  Did we need to get that minivan now? 

Radian

So, I went to a friend's house to see if her infant car seat (removable) would fit in my car with two boosters. Not even close.  I then start to question if the Coccoro will fit in my car with two boosters. Or one booster and a car seat.  It really didn't seem that much smaller than an Graco Snug Ride, Chicco Keyfit or Maxi Cosi.

A friend in Wiesbaden, about an hour away, came to the rescue.  She has a Coccoro.  She offered to test it out in my car as none of them are sold around here.  It fits perfectly with two boosters.  I even have room to buckle Liv's booster seat easily.  The Radian, more narrow than a booster, will easily fit.  While the Radian is expensive and the baby's car seat and Radian combined will cost just over $400, I can hand down the Radian to "The Boy" when he's about two.  Lila will not mind being in a 5-point harness for another two years. She's extremely small for a 4.5-year-old anyway. She'll have plenty of room to grow in the Radian.

As far as taking a sleeping a sleeping baby out of the car - I'll deal with it.  It will be fine.  I know it will - especially if it's all he ever knows.  I think the safety and warmth of being up close to mama will put him right back to sleep.  Or it won't and, well, time will pass by and, like what happened with my two girls, he'll be a off to kindergarten in flash.  It's a good thing, in this situation, I'm not a first time mom.  I know how fast this all goes by.  It really is temporary.  Soon enough I'll be wallowing in self pity because I have no more babies left...

Intact Celebrities

I saw this today and just had to post it.  Most Americans think all men are circumcised.  Not true.  This is an enlightening video:

Why Do I Want This?

Who knew a high chair could excite someone so much!!  I want one of these. 

I hate traditional high chairs.  My number one reason for hating them is that, in my opinion, an infant should be joining his family at the table.  Not a foot or two away (or more).  At it. We're a nation of pushing our infants away from us.  Many use a stroller solely, never even thinking of wearing an infant or toddler up nice and close.  We move our infants out of our rooms very quickly so as to avoid that newborn grunting and odd breathing or just because we think we should.  Then, we introduce food and baby gets to watch mom and dad from afar or (it's far to him), even worse, not even at the same time as them at all.

With the girls, I did not feed either of them before they could sit up, unassisted, on their own (6-6.5 months).  So, we didn't need anything that leaned back to support them.  We used a booster that attached to a chair.  With Olivia, still learning about attachment parenting, I used the tray for a brief period of time (very brief) before I got sick of spaying it down in the sink.  Easier to just wash the table.  I did use the tray at restaurants because you just never know how clean those tables are!  I still have that booster and will be using it again when we eat out (and at friends who don't have children) - though, it's easy to find Stokke's at many restaurants here and I now know to just bring my own wipes and wipe the table down myself.

Lila used that booster until she was three, I believe.  Then, we switched to a bigger, squishy booster.  But, now she doesn't like it and could still use some height.  As soon as I find a Stokke on sale (they are much cheaper here than in the States  - the States have their own versions.  Or, there is a Swedish version of the Stokke that is more affordable), I am grabbing one!  I like this because it will last years and years due to the fact that it can be adjusted. If I were to buy one tomorrow, Lila would slide right into it and use it until the boy starts solids somewhere between six and seven months - or when he's sitting up on his own, not yet eating solids, but wants to join us when we eat.  I have friends here who have these and they. just. rock.  Lila recently used one and loved it.  So, while I'm enjoying my comfort zone, I'll be keeping my eye out for one of these...
  

The Comfort Zone

Well, I'm now 21-weeks pregnant. I'm enjoying the last weeks of comfortable sleeping.  No leg or back pain, no getting up 5,000 times to use the bathroom.  I passed my fasting, three-hour blood glucose test with flying colors. My midwife did the big (Skipped the one-hour test and did the more accurate 3-hour) test, and tested me a bit early because I have an immediate family history of gestational diabetes.   Fasting blood sugar was 74.  An hour after drinking the syrup, my blood sugar was at 89.  My midwife has never seen a blood sugar that low (well within normal range) an hour after consuming the syrup. Usually it takes a while longer to get down into the normal range (Test passing range is anything below 180. 89 is in the normal range when not testing).  So, there is no need to retest like we were going to at 30-weeks. My insulin production is spot on.

Every morning, I walk into the girls school with my hair disheveled, wearing a mismatched "exercise" outfit (whatever comfy that still fits), phone attached to an armband, and head phones dangling.  I kiss them goodbye and then go on a half hour power walk. I just downloaded an album of Adele's. Why did I not do that sooner?? Love her.

The baby is becoming much more active.  Today, I had a several light bladder kicks.  However, I'll still have a day here or there during which I barely feel any movement.  A few more weeks and I'm sure that will change.  I can't remember when the girls moved around all the time - a very obvious foot, a bottom, a head butt to the groin, etc.  I think it started around 28-weeks.  So, some time yet.

We're traveling to Paris this weekend to go to Disneyland and then a day in Paris.  I think it's the perfect time in my pregnancy to go on a trip involving a lot of walking.  It's not supposed to be too hot (70's) and we've planned a biking tour around Paris.

The thing about the comfort zone is that the end zone will catch up on you.  The first half of my pregnancy flew by.  Neither prior pregnancy went by that fast (in my memory).  Matt and I have yet to buy anything we need, aside from three cloth diapers. We need clothes, a car seat, some sort of dresser to put his clothes in (Yes, we sold our crib and dresser set before we moved here to Europe last year).  I guess we can put it all off until August, however, if we do that, we'll spend a fortune all at once.

So, I'll spend the next six-seven weeks enjoying the comfort zone. Maybe, I'll browse the Heidelberg online garage sale ads once a week - just so I don't miss a good baby steal.   As soon as the third trimester hits, the discomfort of the third trimester will remind me that the end is approaching and that will surely propel Matt and I into action! Until then, I'm just going to enjoy some traveling, relaxation, good sleep and enjoy being comfortable.

Ultrasounds = Love/Hate

Ultrasounds are a tricky thing. It's so sweet to see your growing little one inside of you.  Those sweet moments have you embracing modern technology.  However, when they find something that needs follow-up, you almost wish they didn't exist. 

I had an ultrasound earlier in pregnancy because I was bleeding.  I then needed a follow-up ultrasound because a hematoma was found on my uterus.  It may or may not have been the cause of some bleeding I had.  Turned out to be insignifant.

Today, I had my anatomy ultrasound.  While I see a midwife in my own home once a month, I scheduled this "big" ultrasound to make sure there were no heart defects, spina bifida, etc.  The baby looked great and I'm measuring perfectly.

However, the ultrasound doctor found that my placenta is low-lying.  He said it's not placenta previa, nor will I need a c-section.  He did not put me on any restrictions.  He is almost positive it will move as the baby and uterus grows.  I had this same "problem" when I was pregnant with Lila and it resolved itself early on.  I think we found it, due to bleeding, at 16-weeks and it was resolved by 20-weeks. However, it may have been 24 or 26 weeks before it resolved. I'd have to look at my chart.

I'm not in the least bit concerned and if I was not planning a home birth, I wouldn't even care much at all.  It would be fairly insignificant.  I have also read that it can be overly-diagnosed at this point in the pregnancy and only 1 in 600 (according to some studies), who are diagnosed mid-pregnancy, go on to have a true problem with it later on.  Further good news is that other studies state that if the placenta is not covering the cervix (mine is not) at the 20-week ultrasound and is just close to it, no further ultrasound is needed because it will definitively move away. So, I can ignore it and not go back for another scan or keep an eye on it.  Since I'm planning a home birth, I feel that I have to be sure it has resolved prior to birth - just to be on the safer side. We do not want any excessive bleeding because I was overly-confident and ignored recommended follow-up!

So, that's that. I'm really not concerned - but, this is the kind of crap that sometimes happens when you have ultrasounds and one reason why some of my friends don't get them at all!!  If only I were that brave!

Going My Own Way

Note:  I want to clarify from the outset that there is no condemnation here for any one who has or will choose different routes.  These are the thoughts pertaining to information I have read,  researched, or observed that lead me to choose what is best for my baby and my baby alone.  

Now that the first half of my pregnancy is over, I've been thinking more seriously about what I want to do differently with this baby than I did with the girls and also what I want to do differently than is custom in our families and/or our culture.  I've never believed that we have to do what our grandmother, mother, sister, friends, etc. did or does.  I believe in going my own way.  That isn't to say that my mother or sisters or mother-in-law (and so on) or friends haven't taught me anything or haven't supported me.  They most certainly have.  We all learn from each other.  Parenting is an ever-changing journey and we learn different methods of parenting through all kinds of avenues.

Here's a list of what's been on my mind.  They are diversions, on various levels (some more extreme than others), to what is considered "normal" in most American households.

• Home birth - Yes, for this baby we are planning a home birth.  I have an excellent German midwife, whom I trust and adore.  I'm not in the least bit nervous. I know that I am in good hands, I trust my body to birth normally and naturally.  I trust my midwife and spouse to keep me mentally focused (the hardest part of natural birth, in my opinion).  I had a successful natural birth before.  As long as I continue (and baby) to be healthy, home birth is our plan.  If we move (always a possibility) and I can't find a home birthing midwife or if my health or the baby's health waivers, we will have a hospital birth back-up plan.
  

• Upon birth we will not cut his cord immediately.  We will wait for the cord to stop pumping first.  He will remain on my chest, with a blanket covering him and will stay there for the first hour and/or until he finds his way, on his own, to my breast and latches on and has one good feed.  He will then be weighed.  All other procedures (suction if necessary) until then will be done on my chest.  Sound strange? It's not.  It's, actually, the standard of care, when possible, at many baby-friendly certified hospitals.  I've seen videos on this in my lactation training and think it should be the standard of care everywhere (home, birth center, hospital, etc).  If Harlem hospital in NY can do it, it can be done anywhere!

•  Name - As of right now, he will be born without one.  Matt and I cannot agree on a name.  Fights have ensued.  For sure he will get my husband's last name. The only thing we do agree on in terms of names is that he will not be a Jr. or a II.  In fact, it's unlikely he'll be named after anyone on either side of the family.

• Circumcision - Wow, I'm bringing up a super controversial topic.  I think it must be controversial because it can be considered a moral issue.  As in, do we really have a moral right to remove a functioning body part (yes, the foreskin does have function - look it up if you don't believe me) on an individual who is unable to give his consent?  It's permanent. It cannot be taken back and, yes, there are some furious men out there who go on to have restoration of their foreskins.  Since it is purely cosmetic and I do not believe cosmetic surgery should be done on an infant, it's something I do not want my son to undergo.  I have learned, in my lactation counselor training, it can have a negative impact on the first days and weeks of breastfeeding.  It's one of those issues lactation counselors have a hard time bringing up because they don't want to make the situation worse and inadvertently guilt-trip parents.  Since I had issues in the beginning breastfeeding both my previous children, this information sealed the deal for me.  I do not believe the "locker room"or, "must look like dad" arguments.  Both seem so silly to me, I can barely talk about them. Seriously, how many adult US males remember what their father's "member" looks like?  And, if kids really looked at each others penises in the locker room and made comments, then the penis that was unusually large or unusually small would be picked on too. I've never heard of this happening and if it did, I think there would be some serious locker room brawls (I'm sure it does happen, I'm not ignorant - but, it's obviously not a serious issue).  Since rates of circumcision in the States have dropped over the past several years, it won't be an unusual thing to see anyway.  Oh, and then there's the whole, "It's hard to keep clean. It will get infected easily." In the words of my German friend, Sarah, "You Americans are all fed bull*hit and lies.  I don't know if I've ever heard something so ridiculous in my life."  Sarah is married to an intact man, has a son who is intact and a father who is a family practice doctor.  Circumcision is not practiced in Europe (religion aside) and she's never heard any horror stories like we Americans do and what we base much of our circumcision decisions on.  In fact, well more (some statistics state 85%) than half of the men in the World are not circumcised. Who knew? I know I didn't until recently.  Yup, all those British young men (Rob Pattinson) or Swedish (Alexandar Skarsgard) men you have the hots for - most likely intact.  From what my friends who have intact sons tell me, an intact infant is easier to take care of/clean than their baby girls' "bits."  Further, the crowd I "run" in (baby-wearing, natural birthing, extended breastfeeding, Real Food-eating crowd) leave their sons, in general, intact.  I probably know well over a dozen young American boys who are intact.  Because I will probably always be running in that crowd, my children will befriend children of those parents.  When he's three and strips down naked with his friends to be goofy,  he will unlikely be the only intact little boy in the group. I look at it this way: Not circumcising my son is not permanent. Circumcision is.  If he so chooses, later on, when he is properly informed on both sides of the issue, he can make his own informed, mature decision.  And, he will have access to pain medication that an infant is not allowed.  Everyone likes to say that it's more painful then.  I don't like that argument either.  I've had nose reconstruction (bony spur, deviated septum, among other things).  That surgery is pretty damn painful, takes weeks to heal and my surgeon told me that it was very similar to a cosmetic nose job. Yet, people choose to go through that pain every day.  Thousands (millions?) world-wide.  Come on.  If our son chooses to get circ'd later on, he can join the rest of the people out there undergoing elective cosmetic surgery and put up with the pain.  Who knows - there's a good chance he'll thank me instead.

• Baby-Led Weaning - This is a method of feeding I first learned about last year in my lactation course. In the past I made my own purees. Well, this method does not involve purees.  It involves letting your baby who can sit up on his own, has no tongue thrust and is at least six-months-old, dig right in (with regard to allergy prone foods, obviously).  A chunk of red pepper, a whole banana, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes (without the milk in the beginning).  It's messy - but, it's freeing!!!  I know, with Liv, I couldn't wait to make her babyfood.  I bought kits and used my blender and steamed and baked.  Well, it was fun for a month, maybe two.  Then, it got old and boring.  I grew tired of defrosting food.  This is going to be a fantastic adventure.  I know people who use this method and rave about it.  There is an article about it on Eco Child's Play (here) that explains why they don't choke, why it's developmentally better than purees, and even a book and website recommendation.  Check it out!

Those are the top five things I've been thinking about lately.  I'm sure more will come up as time goes along ...