Surprise Shower

Local Friends

A few weeks ago I was visiting my friend, Nina.  After a couple hours at her house, she asked me to follow her in my car to an undisclosed location.  With suspicion, I followed.  As we pulled onto my street, I realized I was walking into a surprise shower. What a sweet surprise it was!

The whole thing was orchestrated by my mother.  I knew something would eventually happen as she had had me register for baby items. You must remember that Lila is soon to be five and Olivia is six.  Let's be realistic.  Unless you are sure you're going to have more children, most people get rid of all their baby stuff when their last child reaches toddlerhood.  That's exactly what we did last year.  At a pre-move garage sale, we sold many of our baby things including our crib, bouncer seat, many toys, a few books, and lots and lots of clothes.  I even gave away our cloth diapers.  My mother loves to throw a party and while some people deem it strange to throw a shower for a third baby, my family does not!  With a five year age gap and the fact that it's a boy (I do still have a small box of baby girl clothes - which I will keep for the next month - just in case "he" comes out a "she"), my mother began scheming.  

First she contacted Matt - who, in all  honesty, thought it strange and maybe even inappropriate to throw a shower for a third baby.  My mother does things like this for fun.  Did I really need help buying baby clothes and items? No.  However, it's so easy to feel detached living so far away from friends and family and this was one way to stay connected and feel loved.  So, she convinced Matt to help her throw a virtual baby shower.  She invited friends and family from back home while Matt rounded up friends from here in Germany.  Our American neighbor agreed to allow gifts be sent to her APO box.  She even wrapped the ones that came from the registry!  Not only that, Matt was to be away during the day of the shower so she and her husband kindly made food and set everything up in our home while I was at Nina's.  What a great friend!  Her task was not easy as I had left the house a mess - a sewing project thrown about the living and dining room!

The Computer (in back) was used to webcam family back home

My friend, Lynette, made the cake.

Nina came back from her holiday a bit early to help out!

I was so touched by all the love and support shown by my friends and family near and far.  My mom had arranged to Skype with some family and friends back home and we were successful at that.  My friend, Krista, traveled an hour and half from her home in Ansbach (Not including the time she spent in a traffic jam).  Nina was on vacation and even came back early to help out! True friends, indeed.

I received many things that I needed and it really help put a dent in the purchases I have had to make for him.

Many many thanks to all who participated and thought of me.  I love you all!

It Has Begun

Up until the past few days, I had been feeling very comfortable.  No body pillow needed to sleep, no swollen feet (except during the high heat and humidity we recently had - even Matt had to take off his wedding band), decent sleep (Okay, I have insomnia once or twice a week that is quite bad - but, I've had worse issues in pregnancies past - so, I've tried not to complain too much), no horrid stretch marks, the reflux hasn't even bothered me too badly.  It's been, pretty much, a breeze.  A bit tiring overall, but, not too much to complain about.

Until now.  I'm up at least seven times a night to use the bathroom.  Walking the girls to school is okay - but, by the time I walk home, I feel the baby so low, I'm either stopped in my tracks or wishing there was a bush to jump behind to relieve myself. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my hips hurt, my outer thighs and even my pubic bones ache. It has begun.  Baby is obviously heavier and, ever so slowly, baby and body are preparing for his entrance.

I'm just under two weeks away from full-term.  Until then, I'm just going to relax, read, and not get too excited.  Beginning next weekend, however, it'll be time to wash cloth diapers, linens, baby clothes, order final baby-things, and finalize the birth plan with my midwife (Not that there's much to it, as we're planning a home birth - but, a hospital back up plan will have to be put in place, numbers of friends handy in the event we need someone to take the girls during labor and delivery.


Oh, and then there's meal prep.  I plan on making and freezing bagels, muffins, and a couple dinner dishes. I'm going to have to stock up on a few things I don't usually - like spaghetti sauce (unless I make that in advance too - but, my freezer only holds so much), and (gasp) a few boxed meals (organic, if possible). My dear husband cannot cook to save his life. He needs help - so I will have to have a few things ready for him.

I was back to my normal self, almost entirely, within a few days after Lila's birth. I don't even remember being overly tired. After a few days of breastfeeding HELL (Seeing an infant spit up blood from your bloody nipples is always a bit frightening), breastfeeding went smoothly for the next 22-months.  But, that was then, this is now - and one can ever know how the labor, delivery and recovery will go....So, I best be prepared and best start soon...In the mean time, baby better stay in for a least a week - my midwife does not deliver babies at home prior to 37-weeks (and I wouldn't try it anyway)!

Summer in Germany Has Arrived

I'm sitting in my living room, a cold, wet wash cloth draped over my neck.  It's after 8:00pm and still around 87 degrees.  The girls have "stolen" our lone fan. As soon as I'm sure they are asleep, I'm taking it back.  For the past several days it's been in the high 80's and 90's. With humidity.  I'm 8.5 months pregnant and not taking kindly to this weather.  AC is nowhere to be found.  Not even in many of the local stores.

I feel like a wimp.  Some people probably think my Facebook updates about the weather are rather annoying.  But, seriously, I feel ill. I've taken two cold showers today.  I'm drinking coconut water  as it's supposed to be healthier for you than Gatorade, and replenish you with five essential electrolytes--potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium, and phosphorous (Real Food athletes are now turning to coconut water instead of Gatorade).

It has been so humid here, my husband has had to take off his wedding ring, something he's never had to do in the past, because his fingers are swelling. I'm a little puffy. You can see it in my face and fingers. I had one day of ankle swelling last week and my midwife checked them a couple days later and said they were fine.  I can still see my ankle bone. So, I guess that's a good sign.  However, I know I must be retaining some water because my sandals are fitting a bit more tightly.  I've been swimming, taking baths, and drinking mineral water - all recommended by my midwife to keep down the swelling.  

My previous two pregnancies were in cool, dry Alaska. So, this is new for me.  I had a little bit of swelling with Olivia towards the very end and I don't remember very much with Lila. In fact, I gave birth to Lila wearing my wedding band.  My rings were removed a couple months ago, sadly, this time around.

Fortunately, the girls are back in school and I don't have to find ways to entertain them in this heat.  Today, however, we are hitting up the town pool as soon as they have an afternoon snack!  Must go get the bag for the pool packed and ready to go!!  I only wish I could sit in the shade and read a book while they swim - still too young for that...

Proverb

"Being pregnant and giving birth are like crossing a narrow bridge. People can accompany you to the bridge. They can greet you on the other side. But you walk that bridge alone." - African Proverb

As I begin to contemplate natural birth, just weeks away, this quote reached out to me.  I will have support to help me achieve and maintain inner strength and a calmness of mind.  But, it is I, alone, who will have to draw from somewhere deep inside of me to reach the other side.

The Boy's Name

We've been getting asked more and more frequently about the baby's name.  I've had a name picked out for years and years.  Matt, however, was on the fence.  It appears, however, we have finally agreed on the first name, at least.  His middle name is still up for debate and while I'll post what we think it may be, please bear in mind that you all won't know for sure until we announce his birth (So don't be surprised or upset if it changes-though, I do think it's pretty unlikely or I wouldn't be posting it now).  So here it is:

Colden Jack McQuilton

We've tossed around Colden Patrick (my pick).  Patrick is Matt's middle name.  He does not like his middle name - so that was tossed out the window.  Though, I do think it flows together a bit more nicely than Jack.  

So, where did these names come from?  Matt is an Adirondack 46'er.   In short, he's climbed all 46 high peaks of the Adirondacks in New York.  I don't think I'd be far off in saying that Matt would rather be in the Adirondack Mountains more than any other place on Earth.  

What does that have to do with our son's name?  Well, Mount Colden was the last of the 46 high peaks he climbed.  I've always thought naming his son Colden would be a nice way to commemorate this accomplishment.  Though, I think Matt would say that the 46 peaks haven't really been completed until he's climbed all 46 of them in the winter.  If we were ever stationed in Fort Drum, NY, surely, that would be his mission.  

Jack is a name Matt has always liked.  He really believes a boy should have a one-syllable, grunt-like name.  It's also the name of his favorite uncle who passed away some years ago.  

I've always believed a child should pick his own nickname when he so chooses.  So, while it would be easy for me say that we'll call him Cole or C.J. or Jack, we'll be careful to let him to decide...

Clinical Anxiety and Pregnancy

For many years, I've struggled with clinical anxiety.  I have worried needlessly over my health dozens of times. Fortunately, it didn't present itself in germaphobia or take over my life in any sort of debilitating way.  Nor do I have anxiety in any other areas.  I sure have gotten picked on a lot about my clinical anxiety - which is frustrating because so many people suffer from depression or other forms of anxiety, that I've never been able to understand what's so humorous about clinical anxiety.  At times, however, months and even years have gone by without me thinking too much about matters of my health.

Unfortunately, in 2009, I was diagnosed with meniere's disease.  This diagnosis told my already anxiety-ridden brain that there is reason to worry. Something bad could happen to me.  While my meniere's disease has been kept under good control and hasn't impacted my life in a debilitating way, I have been very clinically-sensitive ever since.

So, when the doctor doing my last ultrasound told me my amniotic fluid was low, I freaked out (see previous post-it actually wasn't low - which he explained to my midwife the following day).  Then, a couple weeks later, I got it in my mind that my baby was breech.  Even though a few days prior, my midwife had told me he was head down.  I thought for sure I felt him flip.  I felt a round, bony head up in my rib cage and, for sure, that had to be his head.  I kept asking myself why he would flip back up after being head down for over a month!!

So, I panicked and started looking things up (Yes, I know better). Breech babies are often breech for a reason and I started to worry something was wrong with him - even knowing that he had plenty of time to flip back around as I'm only 32-weeks pregnant.

So, what did I do? I called my midwife.  She agreed to come see me this past Friday, even though we have an appointment scheduled for Tuesday.  She quickly put my mind at ease.  He's most likely not breech, as she can hear his heartbeat down below my belly button and not up near where I thought his head was.  A baby's heart beat is heard up near the head and upper back.  She explained that since I still have eight weeks to go, what I'm feeling is a bony bottom. Up until about week 36-37, a bottom can feel almost exactly like a head because there isn't a lot of fat on it.  Also, when I would move that "head" back and forth, his whole body would move.  When you move a head back and forth, the whole body doesn't move. The head will give a little or he will kick.  A bottom, on the other hand, when moved, will in turn move the whole body.

She also reminded me that while she does not deliver breech infants, she has a friend who does and who would assist her. That is,  if the baby was breech at the end and I still wanted a home birth.  If I did not want to attempt a breech birth at home, a local hospital allows for breech vaginal delivery as they view breech as a variation of normal.  In the event of an emergency (i.e., baby got stuck), skilled OB surgeons would be on hand. So I have no need to worry about a breech presentation anyway!

I love that my midwife comes right to my home, when I need her.  There's no way I would get that kind of care anywhere else.  She is a little concerned about my anxiety, however, and is sending a doula who teaches  relaxation techniques my way.  Even though I feel calm now, you just never know when  relaxation techniques could come in handy! 

Musings of the Early Third Trimester

Cloth Diaper Wipe

First off, I have to say that this pregnancy has gone by very quickly, in retrospect.  When I was sick, early in the pregnancy, the days did seem to drag. However, since Spring hit, we've been so busy, and the weeks have flown by.  I'm feeling well, haven't gained more than 20-lbs, the acid reflux has been mild compared to my pregnancy with the girls (so far) and I am still am able to sleep comfortably. I am now in my third trimester, running quickly into week 29!

This past weekend, I took a sewing class on the military facility.  I had such fun and look forward to taking more classes.  Sewing doesn't come to me like recipes do. I'm the idiot in the class who needs someone to sit with her.  I'm very visual and hands on.  Give me a website or pattern, no matter how easy, and I just can't figure it out.  I know that will all come to me as I learn technique and vocabulary - but, until then, I will get frustrated.  I did, however, learn to make perfect squares.  The instructor kindly showed me how to make cloth napkins (we don't use paper napkins in our home and I had previously bought cloth napkins at Etsy.  However, they were pricey and look easy - so I inquired about making my own. In a 15-minute lesson, I caught on).  I promptly went to the fabric store and bought some flannel boyish fabric and am going to make all of our cloth diaper wipes.  The one you see above is the one Matt made with Olivia (Yes, my husband can sew and quite well).  I'm going to make them double-sided,with the red you see above on one side, and the striped white and blue on the other.

In other news:

Now that I'm in my third trimester, my midwife recommends I eat 100-grams of protein a day. Or, close to it. How is that possible, especially in this heat and humidity? Anyone tried it and succeeded? I have some whey protein (grass fed, organic, no artificial anything, etc.) powder that offers up 19 grams each serving. But, whew. I just can't eat that much every day. It's supposed to help the brain development of the baby and fluid retention in the mother, among other things. I think I'll aim for 75 and be happy with anything over that.

I had an ultrasound yesterday to see if the placenta had moved up as the uterus grew. It did. Not a lot, but out of the "danger zone." I knew it would move.  Matt was upset that I even got it checked because in something like 99.3% of the time, it's not a problem by the end of the pregnancy.  All it did was give the doctor another chance to find something else potentially wrong (because he's a genetic specialist and one of only two in the area - he's always looking for something, as per his job). Which he did.  He told me that my amniotic fluid was low and asked me to come back in three weeks.  I promptly called my midwife. She called him. Unfortunately, he does not speak English very well.  He should not have told me that my fluid levels were low (though, he did tell me that I had nothing to worry about as he walked out of the office - but, by not giving specifics and being vague, I still freaked the heck out). They are not low.  They are in the normal range - but on the lower end of normal.  Now, I don't know what the actual number is, but, it is possible that because I was so busy all weekend and probably only drank 8-10 glasses of fluids between Saturday and Monday morning, my fluid levels looked a bit lower than usual.  The more I drink, the more the baby pees, the more fluid is in there. Being more hydrated would have probably brought my fluid level measurements up only a nominal amount. But, even 2-3 points can put you in a higher category and ease the mind of an OB. Nonetheless, the doctor redid my 20-week check-up and everything looks fine. The biggest thing to watch out for, when fluid levels are lower than they'd like, is growth retardation. This was not the case with the baby. He's growing fine. His head is a bit narrow - but over-all head growth checks out fine.  His dad has quite a narrow head - so, it's probably just genetics. And, if I remember correctly, Lila's head was a bit small at some point on ultrasound. Don't be like me and Google, "Fetus+narrow head." 

So, what does this mean? Well, first off, fluid levels are something a midwife (or OB) can monitor without the use of an ultrasound.  Here's an example: You go in for a check up and the midwife pulls out her measuring tape and measures your belly.  You measure a little small.  So, she then palpates around, seeing if she can feel baby parts - which are very very easily felt when the fluid levels are low.  If this is the case, she'll send you in for an ultrasound to see what's going on.  This is how, in fact, low fluid levels are usually found (on top of fewer kick counts the mother may notice).  Most OB's in the States do not do an ultrasound at every appointment during pregnancy.  So, it's found by the tape and hands-on method. In Germany, or at least the clinic I went to before I started seeing my midwife, they do an ultrasound at every single appointment and find it that way instead.  Just different methods-but both just as good.

I don't know that I'll go in for another ultrasound.  I asked my midwife instead to start seeing me every two weeks (which wasn't supposed to start for six more weeks) so she can monitor his growth very carefully.  She is not concerned at all - but, agreed to do it.  If she starts to see growth retardation, she will send me in and we'll go from there.  Worst case scenario is that my fluid levels will drop dangerously low, retard his growth and he'll come early.  But, that's worst case and very very unlikely.  None the less, I now know how it feels to be scared into following every instruction your OB tells you.  Until this pregnancy, I had only seen an OB once or twice, with both girls combined. I've only ever known midwifery care - which is calm, cool and collected. They trust pregnancy and the birth process.  It's very refreshing and calming.  I've stayed away from OB's because I knew that they are very very conservative and control for every little thing they find.  This has been (one reason) what has led to our high rates of c-sections in the States and even here in Germany (just 1 or 2% lower than the US rates).  While I'm not against c-sections or interventions at all, I am against unnecessary ones.  I think there is a fine line that OB's cross all too often out of fear.  And, I question any doctor, OB or not, who practices out of fear.  So, I am taking extra precautions - just in case - but, I'm not going to go in every two weeks for an ultrasound to check fluids when I know it can be checked easily another way, in the comfort of my own home. 

On a side note, this is the second ultrasound in a row where he did not cooperate and we could not see boy parts.  This time, I freaked out and asked the doctor to go over the first ultrasound picture with me and point out the penis. Which he did. I then asked him, even though it looks like a penis to me, why he thought it was a penis and he explained, as best he could in his broken English. But, still, I'm a little nervous now! I shouldn't be because two doctors in a row told us it was a boy - but, oh, you know how it is. I'll be happy with a girl - I'm mostly concerned about all the boy stuff I now have. I think I'll save receipts - just in case!