Colden's Birth Story

The Family

Colden Jack McQuilton arrived late in the afternoon on September 22, 2011 at our home in Germany, in the water. We have spent a lot of time in the past 24-hours snuggling the heck out of our new little guy. We adore him!

Big Sisters with Little Brother

 I know many of you are anxious to hear his birth story. Since we did not video tape his birth as we did Lila's birth, I thought it best that I write it all down before I forget.

My Children with Karin (Midwife)

 Tuesday, September 21-22 - Early Labor

On Tuesday afternoon, Karin came for an acupuncture session.  She had started doing acupuncture two weeks prior.  It is believed that the acupuncture gets the energy flowing for birth, unblocking anything that may hinder a smooth labor and delivery. She added in pinky toe acupuncture to help soften the pelvic floor and dilate my cervix.

Earlier in the day I had noticed that the mild braxton hicks I had been getting for quite some time were changing. They were different - a bit more intense but not deep.  I knew things were changing - but, I knew that things could change for days or even a couple of weeks. At dinner time, several hours after acupuncture, I noticed some discharge that often comes shortly before the onset of labor. Usually less than a week before.  I updated Karin and went to bed.  Throughout the night, I had several mild contractions and lots more discharge.

I updated Karin again in the morning.  She came that afternoon to check me. I was 3+cm dilated. She thought I would have the baby that night and had Matt and I send the girls off to stay with friends.  She got the birthing pool set up in our bedroom and went home, asking us to call her when contractions got close together.  I went to bed that night and while I was woken up with mild contractions every 20-30 minutes, nothing eventful happened.

Stats/Health Check

 Thursday, September 22 - Active Labor - Delivery

Stats

I again updated Karin in the morning.  She came right away to check me.  Since I had had contractions during the night and because I was 3cm dilated the day before, she had to see if I had dilated further before she let Matt go to work.  While she checked me and used a fetal monitor to check on the baby and measure my contractions (She did this for 20-minutes, printed it out and explained that the baby was tolerating all the contractions well), Matt dropped the girls off at school.  When he arrived back home, she told him that he could not go to work as I was 6cm dilated and in active labor - even though I didn't feel much of anything - except tired and tad bit uncomfortable.  She drove off to check on a patient and came back an hour later.  She brought all her supplies into the house and asked Matt to bring the kids to a friend's house when they got home from school - the baby was sure to come at any moment.  Matt and I were both in denial.  I could understand, to some degree, that I was in active labor.  However, I worked so hard in both previous labors to get to 6cm dilated that I could not understand what was going on - but, was relieved that I hadn't had to work very hard to get to 6cm. By this point,  I was no longer having any contractions.  I did not comprehend how she could be setting up her things and felt bad when she said she could not leave the house until the baby was born.  What was she going to do about my stalled contractions?

Nina and Her Husband - Took the Girls to the Movies During My Labor

Soon, she had me walking up and down the stairs (While Matt brought the girls back to our friends' house).  For a while, that did nothing and I became frustrated, hot and very tired.  Then, she had me take some homeopathic remedies and rubbed an oil on my stomach.  She also let me rest. Then, she had me sit on a ball and rotate my hips - this would cause the baby's head to hit near the cervix and cause a contraction.  The contractions weren't too bad and after several, she checked me.  I was still a six but she could easily stretch me to an eight.  She then had Matt fill the birthing tub - I silently laughed to myself. I just couldn't imagine I could be delivering any time soon without consistent, strong contractions. I was mistaken!  She had me get in the tub, left Matt and I alone for a while to do some nipple stimulation (hey, it helps build up natural oxytocin to help bring on contractions - not what I wanted to be doing, but it worked) and soon, contractions started up strong - and closer together - but, still fairly bearable. After five or six contractions, she checked me again.  I was 10cm!!  I started to rotate between getting in and out of the tub.  Sometimes I would walk around our darkened bedroom, other times, get in the tub.  At some point, I decided to stay in the tub and after about a half hour of feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere, I felt a slight urge to push.  The next contraction brought on another small urge and subsequent contractions brought on huge urges - undeniable ones.  The kind that get you channeling your inner animal!  At some point I started to cry tears of joy. I was finally going to meet this little guy! After a handful of fast pushes, Colden arrived!  He was completely encased in his amniotic sac (You may have noticed that my water hadn't broke)!  A true rarity! Total active labor time (read, painful part) was three hours long! Not too bad. Actually, I was even a bit underwhelmed by the pain this time.  I kept wondering when the real pain was going to hit.  Only once, when I started to feel the "ring of fire" as his head came out, did I say I couldn't do it.  Matt quickly reminded me that I was doing it!

Colden stayed on my chest for most of the next hour!  At one point, Karin very gently sucked some mucus from his mouth and nose - with a small tube that she sucked on.  She does not believe in the aggressive suctioning that we typically see immediately after birth.  For close to a half hour we let the cord pulsate, giving him, what studies show to be, up to six months worth of iron reserves (and more - see video series here on delayed cord clamping)!  Amazing. We also let him kind of crawl his way to the breast and eventually latch on for his first feeding.  He's a good little nurser - just wish he'd open his mouth wider!!

After we clamped the cord, and fed him, he finally had his stats taken.  He weighed in at 6lbs 13oz and 19-inches long.  Nearly a full pound smaller than each of his sisters.  Some of his stats and health assessment were done right on Matt during a skin-to-skin session.  Karin has taught me that there is no need to take baby away from his mother and father to do stats and that it does not need to be done right away after birth - as in custom in American hospitals (both my girls were taken away for stats almost right away).

Seconds Old - I'm still being held up by a squat device

Because water really helps soften the skin/tissue, I only had one small abrasion and did not need any stitching up! Yay!!

After I had showered and was spending some time skin-to-skin with Colden, she brought over the placenta.  She showed me that he came right on time because his placenta was calcifying. He was 8-10 days early.  She explained that if I had went back for that follow-up on my "low-end-of-normal" amniotic fluid finding and continued to have that checked, the OB would have eventually found these calcifications and would have asked to induce me right at 40-weeks (In her opinion, not necessarily necessary). Colden would have came before then anyway, but, I would have been, once again, stressed out.

She also explained, after all was said and done, that in a hospital setting,  had I gotten to the hospital on Wednesday at 3cm dilated and stayed there, a labor that progressed as slowly as mine (it took 24 hours to go from 3cm to 6cm) would have been augmented by medicine at a hospital - or, at the very least, I would have been pressured to do that.  She said OBs (and hospital staff) will often explain that the body just "isn't doing it on it's own" - even though it can and will (sometimes with a little help from a very well-trained midwife like mine).  I am, therefore, grateful I walked away from the OB nearly three months ago and put my trust in my midwife!  Trusting the body's ability to know when it's time to deliver can be hard in today's society - I was certainly tested during this pregnancy!

A couple hours after Colden was born, the girls came back from our friend's house, met their little brother, showered him with kisses and went promptly to bed.  

Karin comes by the house for up to two visits a day for up to ten days. Now, that's service right there! She checks on the baby and I both.  So, right now, there is no need to go the pediatrician for any check-ups.  That will come next week or the week after.  Whenever we decide to leave the house.

As trusting in midwifery care, home birth and water birth can be difficult these days, I have to give great thanks to my husband who stood by my decisions to have the birth I wanted-a birth that was an empowering journey. I could not have did it with out him.

Now, I'm off to nurse our brand new, perfect baby boy!  I only wish he would stay this little!

My Prediction

Last night, a friend ask me what my prediction is for when this baby will come and how much he will weigh.

My prediction:

Date:       October 4, 2011
Time:      11:00am
Weight:   7lbs 15oz
Length:   20.5 inches

You may be thinking, "Wow, you think you'll be late?!"

No, I don't think I'll be late.  However, I have no real good idea as to when I got pregnant.  Ultrasound dates  have varied (I do understand that early ultrasounds are the most accurate and those dated me 30SEP).  The 3rd of October was actually one date that showed up on a later ultrasound. It is also, if I really think back, the latest possible due date based on when I think I could have conceived. So, I think I'll go one day longer than last time and I don't really think one day longer can really be considered overdue, especially since we never really know the actual date of conception unless we were undergoing fertility treatment.

Newborn Stash

This past weekend, I washed and dried my newborn cloth diaper stash. I thought I'd share with you what we're using for newborn diapering. Interestingly, many people who cloth diaper, do not do so the first few weeks or months. Especially first time parents. For whatever reason, they think it will be way too intimidating and they'll be too tired. Matt and I cloth diapered Olivia as soon as she got home from the hospital and I did the same with Lila.  In our experience cloth diapering is easier than using disposables (aka "sposies").  Why? Well, breastfed babies tend to have explosive bowel movements (BM).  They will explode out the best fitting Huggies, Pampers or Luvs.  Believe me, we know.  BM up their back, out the sides and even into the hair.  I've seen people on Facebook post that their newborn was on their "seventh outfit change of the day."  This does not happen with cloth.  They tend to be much more absorbent.  So, no, we are not "brave" starting out cloth diapering from day one.  It's actually easier. Those of you using sposies in those first few weeks (and continuously) are the brave ones, in my opinion. 

We have favorite newborn diapers and those are Kissaluvs. You use a Kissaluv, shown below, with a diaper wrap.  Kissaluvs are nice because they snap down in the front to leave room for the umbilical cord stub (and unsnap when no longer needed).  The trick to keeping all the BM in is to fold in the diaper at the legs.  Kissaluv's has tips on their webpage. They work like a charm!  No leaks. I swear by these. They fit newborns very nicely and are very soft.  Easy to wash and care for.  I don't like the absorbancy (lack thereof) in the sizes after newborn (more on that later). 

Kissaluv Size 0

Weehugger's Wrap - Use with a Kissaluv, Weehuggers own inserts or a prefold (pictured below)

Kissaluvs are a tad bit pricey and this time around, I only purchased a dozen.  Since I like to have around two dozen newborn cloth diapers, we purchased prefold diapers at around two dollars each from Green Mountain Diapers (I love Green Mountain Diapers because they sell only 100% cotton diapers - which I find to be the easiest to care for and wash - especially since we have very very hard water here in Germany and also did in Portugal. My synthetic diapers easily got build up and smelled).  Prefold diapers are what our mothers' and grandmothers' used. Except they are now easier to use.  In the picture below, you'll notice a prefold folded and inserted in a diaper wrap. That easy. 

Cloth diaper wrap with a prefold inserted

You can fold a prefold like grandma did and use a snappi (Sold at Green Mountain) to keep it together. Works great!  You then use the wrap pictured above or a nice wool wrap pictured below (we love wool for its breathability and sustainability - Green Moutntain also has a lot of information on why wool is great on their page).

Wool Wrap - soft, not scratchy

So that's it. What about washing? Well, you we use a cloth diaper-friendly wash such as Rocking Green, add a cold rinse to the beginning of your wash, then wash as you would your other clothing. If you feel need be, add a rinse at the end.  Breast milk BM washes out very easily.  You don't need to soak them in a wet pail. You just need to throw them in a pail lined with a pail liner (also see Green Mountain), and wash your diapers every other day. You turn the bag inside out so as not to touch any BM.  You can dry in the dryer, on the line, or a combination of both.

Get this.  My husband is actually the one who encouraged me to cloth diaper and doesn't mind it in the least.  He even does the laundry, and diaper changes.  His favorite cloth diaper? A prefold. He can fold a prefold on a baby and even a toddler in about five seconds.  He sees no need to spend any more money on all the other diapers now out there (All-in-Ones, All-in-twos, fitted (Kissaluvs are fitteds).  Probably most of this stems from the fact that if you used prefolds with some wraps from newborn until toilet training, you'd spend about $300-$500.  Yup. Two-three years of diapering for that little.  Diapering with disposables costs close to $3,000 per child. If you know my husband, you know how frugal he is. And, prefolds hold up through several children (unless you bleach them - you do NOT bleach diapers). So, had we used only prefolds for the girls and/or didn't get rid of all the diapers we've had in the past, and I didn't love me some fitteds and cute wraps, we could have cloth diapered all three children for well under $1,000.  And, no, doing an extra three loads of laundry a week is not going to jack up your electric and water bill.

Have we purchased an "emergency" stash of disposables?  No.  As of right now, we do not have a single disposable diaper in our house-nor do we plan on it.   I'll let you know how that goes...

Care to Make a Prediction?

I'm due in two and half weeks!  We are so excited!  I took a long walk this morning after I dropped the girls off at school.  I've been having some pretty intense braxton hicks ever since. The kind that send shooting pains down my legs even.  I know what the real thing feels like - this is not it (my body sure is practicing)!  In fact, I've been getting more braxton hicks since yesterday's acupuncture session with my midwife. My midwife also noticed that my uterus is firming up nicely - previously it was soft - which means I'm getting closer to the end....

So, it's time for people to start taking guesses as to when the baby will come and what his stats will be. I was thinking I'd send a gift or something "German" to whoever guessed the closest.  But, I don't know that I'll end up being that organized for a while after birth.  We'll see. I will, at the very least, give a shout out here on my blog to the winner.

Here are the girls stats:

Olivia - Born at 39 weeks, 4 days.  7lbs, 12oz., 19.5 inches long.

Lila Kate - Born on due date. 7lbs, 14 oz., 20 inches long.

Note: My midwife estimates my due date as 2OCT.  My OB estimates (by way of early ultrasound), 30SEP.  

So, if you're interested, place your guess as to when Colden will come in the comment section.

Did You Know?

Here's a little fast fact I learned last year when taking my Certified Lactation Counselor's course, a course accredited by the ANCC (American Nurses Credentialing Center):

It's a long standing practice in the US to give our newborns sponge baths until the umbilical cord stump has fallen off.  The fact of the matter is that you do not have to wait until the baby's umbilical cord stump to fall off before submerging him/her in water.  As long as you dry it properly after, it will be fine. Here is an article that sums it up: Caring for Your Baby's Umbilical Cord Stump and here is a discussion on the matter here.

This was brand new information for me last year. It took a bit to sink in because it's what we did with our two girls and what everyone I knew at the time did.  I recently asked my midwife what the practice is here and she replied that there was no practice. You bathe a baby as you usually would. In the bath with you, in a baby tub - whatever works.  She said that she suggests drying it with a hair drying after - but, that that wasn't really necessary either as long as it was dried thoroughly by a towel.  

So, if you're due to have a baby, go ahead and give him/her a proper bath as you please. 


Please Note: I believe that care for circumcised infants is different.  It is not something we are going to do, however, if you are, you would want to follow your doctor's advice.

Full Term...Or Not?

According to a couple of early ultrasounds, during which the OB measured the baby to come up with an accurate due date (As this baby was a surprise, I'm not entirely sure when I got pregnant), I am now full term!!!  I can see the end now!  This means I could go into labor any day, the baby is fully developed, etc. Phew, right?!

Here's the thing. Twice the baby dated September 30th.  An ultrasound or two later dated the baby either October 2nd or 3rd. The OB stuck with the 30th because earlier ultrasounds are the most accurate, apparently.  My midwife, however, goes by October 2nd.  When I did the math on when I thought I could have gotten pregnant, that was the latest due date I came up with.  So, she's using it.  Either way, it could be off a few days on either end.

A few days doesn't really matter, in the whole grand scheme of things...for everyone BUT the pregnant mama! Never before have I wanted a baby to hurry up already.  I'm being incredibly silly here.  Both girls were on time and since my body has done this before, it's fairly unlikely I'll be overdue and if I am, it probably won't be by too much.  Just last night, the baby moved out of his very long-standing posterior presentation and is now in a more optimal birthing position.  It happened that quickly.  Which means he is getting ready (though, as long as he is surrounded by plenty of amniotic fluid, he could still move from anterior back to posterior and then back again before labor and delivery). 

I don't know why I'm obsessing over a couple of days.  But, I want to believe that the 30th of September is the most accurate date. I don't want to wait until Sunday to say I'm full-term. So, I go by the OB's due date calculation despite knowing my midwife's calculation is probably a bit more accurate.

At any rate, on Sunday my midwife officially goes "on-call" for me.  She did say she'd deliver at home a day or two before her given due date, if need be. So, I'm, pretty much, in the clear.  On Tuesday, she brings over all the birthing supplies, including medications to keep in the refrigerator (which means I best clean out the fridge this weekend. I think there is a glass bowl containing three-week-old green beans somewhere in there and several maple syrup drips on the shelves).  It also means that at least a few baby outfits and all the cloth diapers must be washed and prepped and a back-up hospital bag packed.  Oh, and a bag for the girls - they may not stay at home for the birth.  It's kind of up in the air and will depend on when I go into labor, how long labor drags out and whether I want them there or not (You never know how you'll feel in labor)....Full term. Wow!!

Operation "Get Baby Out" Begins

Today, I had an appointment with my midwife. As always, she came to my home.  It was nice and quiet.  The house is cool now that Fall is setting in (my favorite season).  A stark contrast from the sticky, humid weather we were having that made my hair frizzy, my skin slimy and my patience more frazzled than usual.

I made myself comfortable on the couch.  She then inserted acupuncture needles on the side of each knee, half way down each leg and at each ankle.  In two weeks, she will add a needle to my pinky toe. She tells me this is to help harmonize my body.  Really, she is inserting needles into nerves and by doing that, it's supposed to help clear up any blockages or tension, etc. By the time I go into labor, my body is supposed to be in complete harmony and it can actually shorten the duration of labor.  I was in labor for six hours with Lila (Actually, 25-hours.  However, only six of it the active, "I think I'm going to die," rough part). Any minute less than that will be an improvement!

I think this type of acupuncture can be viewed a bit like chiropractic care.  Matt thinks it's quacky and it is his belief that it only works for people who think it will.  It's part of my midwife's service and included in health care costs. I'll take whatever I can get. Karin did tell me that sometimes the baby will get very active during the procedure and that he did. Almost right away. So, I think it did something.

I've been having more anxiety about my fluid levels as I know that my body is starting to absorb fluid starting about this time. For the 1,000 time, I asked Karin about it and finally told her just how worried I was about it.  She went into details as to how easily she can detect it and what she does in the event she notices it.  Since the baby is growing and she can feel a huge pocket of fluid on my left side, and the fact that he moved his head since she last saw me, she is not worried at this time (babies who are not surrounded by enough fluid do not grow, are very inactive, and definitely do not change positions until labor kicks off and the uterus helps out).  If she, at any time, notices low fluid, she will send me in for an ultrasound.  Here in Germany, there has to be two complications in order for induction to happen in relation to low fluid. As a general rule, even OBs will not induce if they see just low fluid.  They will induce if they see low fluid AND a failing placenta.  They will also induce if they see low fluid AND heart rate issues. Or, all three combined.  Low fluid alone is not an immediate indicator for induction.  That being said, it doesn't mean I would not be placed in hospital for constant monitoring until I went into labor on my own. That could be an option, especially given my anxiety issues. However, my midwife is not at all concerned.   I'm going to try to meet with a pre-birth doula (not to be confused with a birth doula) this week who specializes in relaxation techniques.  My midwife thinks she will teach me some breathing and relaxation methods that will really help me get through this. 

I do wonder, however, if my midwife went home, had a few glasses of wine, stuffed her face into a pillow and screamed bloody murder at the fact that she has a client so anxiety ridden!  The poor woman!!

So, I've finished the first round of acupuncture. This weekend I can start drinking a special tea blend, made at a local holistic pharmacy and recommended by midwife, that helps prepare the body for labor.  Operation "Get Baby Out" has begun! We're getting so excited to meet our little guy!

Surprise Shower

Local Friends

A few weeks ago I was visiting my friend, Nina.  After a couple hours at her house, she asked me to follow her in my car to an undisclosed location.  With suspicion, I followed.  As we pulled onto my street, I realized I was walking into a surprise shower. What a sweet surprise it was!

The whole thing was orchestrated by my mother.  I knew something would eventually happen as she had had me register for baby items. You must remember that Lila is soon to be five and Olivia is six.  Let's be realistic.  Unless you are sure you're going to have more children, most people get rid of all their baby stuff when their last child reaches toddlerhood.  That's exactly what we did last year.  At a pre-move garage sale, we sold many of our baby things including our crib, bouncer seat, many toys, a few books, and lots and lots of clothes.  I even gave away our cloth diapers.  My mother loves to throw a party and while some people deem it strange to throw a shower for a third baby, my family does not!  With a five year age gap and the fact that it's a boy (I do still have a small box of baby girl clothes - which I will keep for the next month - just in case "he" comes out a "she"), my mother began scheming.  

First she contacted Matt - who, in all  honesty, thought it strange and maybe even inappropriate to throw a shower for a third baby.  My mother does things like this for fun.  Did I really need help buying baby clothes and items? No.  However, it's so easy to feel detached living so far away from friends and family and this was one way to stay connected and feel loved.  So, she convinced Matt to help her throw a virtual baby shower.  She invited friends and family from back home while Matt rounded up friends from here in Germany.  Our American neighbor agreed to allow gifts be sent to her APO box.  She even wrapped the ones that came from the registry!  Not only that, Matt was to be away during the day of the shower so she and her husband kindly made food and set everything up in our home while I was at Nina's.  What a great friend!  Her task was not easy as I had left the house a mess - a sewing project thrown about the living and dining room!

The Computer (in back) was used to webcam family back home

My friend, Lynette, made the cake.

Nina came back from her holiday a bit early to help out!

I was so touched by all the love and support shown by my friends and family near and far.  My mom had arranged to Skype with some family and friends back home and we were successful at that.  My friend, Krista, traveled an hour and half from her home in Ansbach (Not including the time she spent in a traffic jam).  Nina was on vacation and even came back early to help out! True friends, indeed.

I received many things that I needed and it really help put a dent in the purchases I have had to make for him.

Many many thanks to all who participated and thought of me.  I love you all!